You know I read the letter for the supposed 2nd month before my CL oral yesterday. Somehow, I just did. I don't know why, but I did. Sigh. Perhaps, just maybe. No. It can't be. Perish that thought, Shanice. It's just too dangerous for you to even think about it anymore. I'm supposed to be a straight girl. But it was kinda funny today. Cause Pearlyn and a few of your friends were trying to pull you to geography, but you resisted, and made me go to the wrong class ! Actually, I want to be friends, but it's just too hard for me to forget. Sigh.
Today is a tuesday... Well, on Saturday, I kinda got into a fight with Miss Tan. I felt so bad. I mean. She's the nicest teacher I've ever had. And I felt the parental love somehow from her. She unfollowed me on twitter after our "fight". Honestly, I felt bad. Texted her immediately. This is a friendship I don't intend to lose, especially with a teacher. She influenced me so much. First of all, cats. Then, Snapple. Then, her catchphrase - "Nonsense !" I just feel so happy when she's around. First time I'm so close to a teacher. Perhaps, I shall aspire to be a teacher in the future ? Well, it's kind of possible ! :) But it saddened me when she seemed so hostile. I'm really sorry. Did I offend you somehow? Sigh. I'll never know. I'll try to act more aloof around her. Perhaps, I shouldn't think about how to cheer and be friends with a teacher. It's possibly just too dangerous to be with teachers. Thank god she didn't tell my mum about me cutting yet. Though, I did a while ago. I mean, you can't expect it to be instantaneous. I can't have her finding things out, yet some part of me actually wants that. WHAT THE HECK AM I THINKING.
Last night, I was on the phone. With my best friend. I guess I can call her that, but then again, I can't now, can I? Considering that you've many best friends. I'm okay with it and all, but just felt a little less than my "friendship status" with you in school. Maybe I'm thinking too much. Just felt I can't talk to you more than a couple of minutes in between classes and maybe catch a glimpse of you after school. Well, back to yesterday. I called and we talked on the phone. It felt good, yet I felt hurt at the same time. Having to relive the nightmares, one by one. The screaming. The shouting. Oh god. The horrors. Those are moments I never want to even think about anymore. Just living through it once is enough. Ha. It made me happy though. That finally, you'll understand me. Just maybe, but it's worth a try. I'm glad you texted me saying that you're happy as well that I finally opened up to you. Honestly, most of my life has already been inscribed on this blog. Maybe, I'll have a better life after blogging ?
Last Friday, we had Awards Day. I was the emcee with Russell. Wow. Actually, turns out I didn't do as badly as I thought, though I probably said Miss Tan's name a tad too loud ! Anyways, a few people came and congratulated me that night and the Monday after ! We took a class photo too ! It was so fun emceeing ! I came home like a drunkard cause I haven't been sleeping well the few days before. I lost most of my senses already. Actually, I kinda like being an emcee. I will become one someday ~ HERE'S OUR PICTURE, THE LOVELIEST AND AWESOMEST 3G (WITHOUT TEACHERS). <3
Mid years are coming. I'm like sleeping in all my classes. Sigh. What to do ? Sigh. Oh well. Guess I'll stay awake soon ? There's gonna be CE tomorrow. I don't mind actually. I like it when Miss Tan talks in class. I just like it somehow. Damn. Make me sound like a creep. But really. It's cool. She's more of a friend, rather than a teacher. I hope it'll continue to be that way. LOL.
Wish me luck. For whatever is left of me.
Cheeseballheart
