Updates.

Well, I'm not feeling that emo anymore. I feel better actually. Hmm. Who knew crying could have so much effect? It makes me feel so much more relaxed. Oh well... I haven't updated the blog in a long time. Dang it. :P Oh well.

Hmm. Now my best friends are like still damn awesome. :) I've got friends to confide in and I feel so much better cause they make me feel like I'm wanted.I know that I have mood swings. I can't help it sometimes. I just want to feel normal sometimes. Sigh. It depressing that I can get jealous of my friends if they get closer to other people more than me. I'm weird. I wonder whether is it a good thing that I put my friends as a priority? I feel like I'm thinking too much sometimes. It's probably just me, missing my old friends where I was more welcome, with people who understood me better and treated me without being so judgmental and skeptical. Is it because of our different capabilities so that's why we're treated differently. Its so different being a teenager and being just a young child. You have different feelings of being accepted. When you were younger, you were friends if you liked each other. But now, there are more factors relating to being friends. If you're not friends with the popular people, you'll never have friends. Now, it's more to doing what's popular rather than what's nice to you. You wouldn't like it if you were looked down for liking something someone else doesn't like. Life's unfair. You were born with the wrong kind of genes, you'll never have friends. You just have to find someone else that accepts you without judging before you can enjoy peace. Or you'll just be a loner and you'll also enjoy peace.

I have friends. I love them. As in like friends. I miss them already. They're the best things that has happened to me ever since I came to this school. My best friends are Andrea, Alyaa and Qin En ~ I don't know whether they feel the same way though. But still. I really wanna spend more time with them. They're like the awesomest people I've ever met. Gosh. I'm obsessed with my friends. Dang. But I kinda felt emo-ish. Then jealous. Then I think I ruined the whole friendship. I feel so sad. I don't know. Maybe its the stress. Maybe it's the environment. Or maybe, it's just me. I miss their hugs. Dang it.

I realize I write lengthy paragraphs. I don't know why either. But it's kinda difficult to read. Damn. I want to let more people know about this blog, but no one would look at it anyways. Sigh.

The EOYs just ended. I got 3rd in the level even though I failed one subject. Like seriously. 37/100. For Higher Mother Tongue. I'm so sad now. Cause I'm supposed to get 2nd. I made sure ! Its just that the stupid Rae go and take my 2nd place by 0.1 marks. She didn't come for the exam and was pro-rated. BITCH. Like that also can. I would do the same. I shall crush you. I don't care. You're making me feel so evil. I just want to crush your dreams Rae. Watch out. I'll come after you. This I swear. Don't make me destroy the very little friends you have. Trust me. I've got my ways.

Anyway, now that I feel evil, I'm gonna let it all out... I don't know why either but she's made me feel so pissed at this school. I feel like working so hard and crushing other people's dreams. I know I'm capable. Let me just unleash the monster in me. I am capable. I will destroy dreams and you will feel like never going back. You'll feel so helpless and completely give up. I know I'm not being fair, but I shall impose that on the volleyball team. I will become the very best, the cream of the crop. I will work hard and make you feel my wrath. I shall become the very best of the team. I will fight for a space in the seniors spot. I will make them beg for mercy. I shall crush all those who comes in between me and my top position. I shall work on my skills, make them twice, no, three times better than yours and by the time you try to catch up, it'll all be too late. I will make sure that I will be the best in terms of volleyball. Crushed dreams, you shall fuel me to my ultimate goal.

Damn it. Just cause of one stupid girl I am going to ruin everybody's dream? I will be the best. You won't know what hit you. I can be cruel. Just piss me off and you'll get it.

Well, I'll go calm myself down before destroying more people's hopes and dreams. Good luck to all those people. I'm pretty sure you're gonna need it when you find out what I'm capable of.

Cheeseball.