Sigh. This is rather annoying. Well, we just had a 3 day 2 nights camp, which I wasn't allowed to stay overnight cause I had family stuffs. So I skipped it, you know why ? Cause 1 of my cousins was in town. Really. And I just got scolding. Cause I went for trainings, and didn't ask her to go out and stuffs. Seriously. Mother, if you can see this, please know that you're dear daughter did not go out to have fun these few days, instead, she was working hard to play and train well for next year's competition. Thanks to you, she couldn't stay overnight there and missed out on a lot of bonding time.
Goddamnit. Yesterday saw a whole bunch of softballers working at the school bookshop. Really. If a certain someone wasn't there, I would have visited. But no, you just had to be there, did you ? I swear, I hate you, and now, I still do, if you know who you are, please get out of my sight, and don't ever let me see your face again. You know, I had to even try to avoid the people I had lots of bonds with. Even your damn best friend. That stupid girl, go out buy lunch, must so exact to meet until. I WANT TO PUKE.
Ugh. Nevermind all that. To easily sum up the last few days, I don't like softballers, I saw them, and they had gotten darker, (obviously) and I'm getting more scolding cause I'm a teen, who's got no freedom to go out with friends, has a phobia of rumours, got a damn crush on someone, getting scolding from my mom, cursed by many others, and I am a terrible host as well as relative. I don't know why, but I'd rather go out with friends, rather than with relatives. Maybe it's because I get to choose who I'm with, not forced to go out with someone pre-destined ?
Anyways, YAY. Today, I AM SO HAPPY. AND SHY. AND HAPPY. MOSTLY HAPPY. To start things off, Coach didn't scold me as much ! :) He never scold me for serving the ball out but today really no feel to serve nicely. He didn't scold me if I set too much to the spiker's body, and he never scold me for not really taking the second ball. DAMN HAPPY ABOUT THAT. Hurray. :) Quoting a tweet from my fellow teammate, " Setter dont get the glory of winning the score, but without a setter there isnt spiker. Setter, the most important player :) " <3 YAY. I feel so happy ! :D I don't know whether it's for me, but I love her ! Thanks for tweeting that cause it made my day. :)
Today my coach told the team, about a libero who fought for her bit of credit. Well, she deserved it, I mean, without a good first ball, the ball cannot be set. But really, I now feel for all the setters. I know how they feel, they're like the foundations to a magnificent structure. They support the team. Spikers are like the statue with the great I'm not blowing my horn here, but I really feel I should have appreciated my own past setters. She was perfect. Quick, nimble, hardworking, daring and talented. Miss her so much. The last one I had was Tiffany. She's tall, should've been a blocker, Ahlian type and reminds me of Pauline. It seems that everyone in the current team has had led me to be reminded of past teammates. Man, I'd give anything to have another match with primary school volleyballers. :)
Anyway, that's not the happiest thing today ! The happiest thing. Well, I don't know how to put it, but everytime I think about it, my heart jumps ! :) Damn. I really have fallen for someone I'm not supposed to. But really, today, somehow, while randomly picking out a number for the gift exchange, I got hers !!! :D My god. It looked so nice ! I love it. Damn. She made it so nicely. I think I might have embarrassed her... I asked who made it. And well, she's being herself. :P I know it's not normal, but everytime I think about it, I blush and get so happy. I know it might have meant for someone else, but it's pretty damn cool. I love it. This may be wrong, but really, I think I've fallen for you. :) Damn.
Oh shit. I fell asleep. So technically, all my todays refer to yesterday, but I'm too lazy to change. :) I'm still so happy. Goodness. :O Time to calm myself down. Such a special person. I can't stop thinking. But I'm happy at the very least. Unfortunately, she just came out of a relationship. Damn. I'll try ? But I don't wanna force. If she doesn't want, then it's fine with me. I'm not better than her previous stead, but I'll do anything to make her happy. She won't want me, but I'll just do my best to make her happy. :) That's all I want. Her to be happy. :)
Okay. So I am a butch. I'm weird. Get over it. But I know I'm just gonna be here, loving someone, watching her always love someone else. By the looks of it, I'm not her type. Oh well. I'm just gonna be here, me being me. I'll be there for her. Anything for you babe. <3
Love you.
No comments:
Post a Comment